Feel how alive you are.

I get nervous when I do this. My mind looking for some distraction or reason to do something else. I adjust settings or think of new ways to organize the information or plainly do not have the force of will to get over that hill of effort that is the beginning.

I lay my groundwork sure of its efficacy and reason. Confident in my decision and my resolve. Yet in that moment, at the true boundary between action and inaction; I am faced with an enemy I cannot make peace with.

Self.

I have longed for the embrace of faith; praying for it and striving for it my entire life. I have loved and hated God in all his ambiguity. Demanding he show himself and cursing him for his lack of felt presence. I finally just respectfully parted ways with him.

So I believe if I was asked today what the answer is I would not say it is what is right for you. For me it is about connecting in a meaningful way with the world around me right now, in this moment, the only moment I will ever have; do something good and be someone better. Do not give in to your anger or feelings. Be guided by a path of love and tolerance. Know the impermanence of this and make this moment special.

As I struggle to reach out and make the commitment to act the same way I think, to let go of these trappings of the world, I find comfort in my plight. I know I am not the only one who is trying to find their path. I take comfort in knowing there are many who would walk a path of love over a path of hate….

regardless of the path you choose to get there.

Feel how alive you are.

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The Wandering Mind “Meditation Journy Part 2″

Distraction Vs. Discipline

With so many distractions and new things going on I have not been focused at all. I hear the proverb echoing in my mind. “If you don’t have time to meditate for 15 minutes then you should meditate for 30.” It is true and I know it. It is not that I lack the time it is that I lack the discipline to do it. I could wake up earlier. I could not spend as much time on Facebook. I could turn off the TV. I could go to bed earlier. I could do a lot of things to make this more important but I still struggle to do it.

Technological Mind Control

iPad, iPhone, laptop, applications, T.V. shows, movies, bars, office politics, family, me time…….

Instead of having any real mental control we are distracted from our minds by our lives. When left to our minds alone we find ourselved controled by doubt, fear and utter loneliness. For me I think that is why I am drawn back to Facebook. Looking for that false connection that exists in cyberspace. Instead of finding the connection that truly exists right here in this moment.

Yoga

I have taken up yoga as a starting point for my meditaion. I believe I have spoke about this before. It is providing me the platform for better sitting posture during my meditation. It has many other benefits and provides its own meditative state. I am trying to make this a daily habit twice a day.

The Struggle Continues

So here I am. Still at it. Stumbling along. Tripping over myself. Fighting the good fight. There was a time when failure meant stopping. Running away or giving up. I can say that I have atleast gotten to a place in my life where I am old enough to know that the journy is never easy. You will never win on the first attempt and many times you will have to fail over and over to see success. I hope my honestly and failure helps you realize your own struggle is not unique.

Never, Never, Never Quit. -Winston Churchill

Pushing vs. Celebrating

I have to own something. When it comes to Christianity I have not been easy on them. I have dogged them a lot for their proselytizing. So I find myself here, on my Facebook page and on twitter constantly posting about my spiritual path and blurbs from buddha or videos that I find that talk about concepts that are central themes in a buddhist life. So am I a hypocrite? Am I now doing the thing I loathed them for. Am I proselytizing now that I have found a spiritual path that fits my reason and logic?

There is a fine line here between celebrating and pushing and I hope I can make a distinction. Moreover I hope that anyone that reads my blog or posts understands that I am celebrating my transformation and their involvement as friends family or complete strangers is welcomed as a part of the experience but as it were, no jacket is required. That is to say you don’t have to believe as I do to enjoy my journey along this path and it is not my intention or desire to ask of you to do so. I has no requirements of you.

I think that is one of the liberating things about getting away from a singular god concept. There is no either or. It is not with me or against me. For me your path is your path and you have as many lives as you need to get it right. Nor is your belief in Buddha a requirement to reach buddha. There are many paths to buddhahood. You are free to choose the one right for you.

Now I am free of judgement. So I am sorry for those that crossed my path during so many days of judgement. I see my error. You are free to proselytize and I am free to decline. I hope that does not offend.

The 12 Laws of Karma

I ran across these and was truly inspired by them. I am trying to learn more about their origins and would love some input from someone who knows. What a tremendous statement about life.

1. THE GREAT LAW -
“As you sow, so shall you reap”. This is also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect”.
Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us.
If what we want is Happiness, Peace, Love, Friendship, Then we should BE Happy, Peaceful, Loving and a True Friend.

2. THE LAW OF CREATION -
Life doesn’t just HAPPEN, it requires our participation.
We are one with the Universe, both inside and out.
Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
BE yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have present in your Life.

3. THE LAW OF HUMILITY -
What you refuse to accept, will continue for you.
If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to be negative,
then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

4. THE LAW OF GROWTH -
“Wherever you go, there you are”.
For us to GROW in Spirit, it is we who must change – and not the people, places or things around us.
The only given we have in our lives is OURSELVES
and that is the only factor we have control over.
When we change who and what we are within our heart
our life follows suit and changes too.

5. THE LAW OF RESPONSIBILITY -
Whenever there is something wrong in my life,
there is something wrong in me.
We mirror what surrounds us – and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
We must take responsibility for what is in our life.

6. THE LAW OF CONNECTION -
Even if something we do seems inconsequential,
it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.
Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.
Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance,
As they were both needed to accomplish the task.
Past – Present – Future
They are all connected,

7. THE LAW OF FOCUS -
You can not think of two things at the same time.
When our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. THE LAW OF GIVING AND HOSPITALITY -
If you believe something to be true,
then sometime in your life
you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth.
Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned,
into actual PRACTICE.

9. THE LAW OF HERE AND NOW -
Looking backward to examine what was,
prevents us from being totally in the HERE AND NOW.
Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, old dreams,
Prevent us from having new ones.

10. THE LAW OF CHANGE -
History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. THE LAW OF PATIENCE AND REWARD -
All Rewards require initial toil.
Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.
True joy follows doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and waiting for the reward to come in on it’s own time.

12. THE LAW OF SIGNIFICANCE AND INSPIRATION -
You get back from something whatever YOU have put into it.
The true value of something is a direct result of
the energy and intent that is put into it.
Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.
Lack luster contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.
Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.

 

 

Two Steps Back

spirituality shelf

What’s on your spiritual book shelf?

One step forward…. then I fall down, bust my head, roll down a hill and forget where I was at in the first place.

 

That overstatement is an understatement of my beginning of this blog and my journey towards Buddhism. While professionally I am seeing a level of success I have not enjoyed in a while personally I am stumbling along in my spiritual path. Couple things…

 

I probably won’t be any less me any time soon. I am opinionated, sarcastic and, well, feisty. I eat life. Some of that is probably my type 1 bi-polar (Like being stuck in overdrive all the time unlike type 2 which is the mood swings) and the rest is just me. I am as my profile on Facebook says “Slightly Medicated” so I function better today. Never-the-less if you want to know what I think, you will get it. So if being Buddha means I must be monotone in my approach to life I don’t see it happening. Compassionate, loving, forgiving, aware, in the moment, acceptance and tolerance without judgement; all yes. Let’s just be clear to, acceptance and tolerance is not apathy or indifference. See “Other Stuff” for examples of that. There is right action and right thinking but without empathy even with the most vile of ourselves, we can never understand how to move past it.

 

My work. I work on the road. That is how I support my family so I have a routine but it changes locations a lot. So today I am in North Dakota brrrrr, tomorrow, well, you name it and it is possible. That is not an excuse for my lack of meditation or reading or blogging… there is another reason.

 

I have a lot of hobbies. I play bass, I play with my kids, I play with my wife ;) , I play with computers, I wish I read more; god knows I have bought enough books with that intention, and I am easily distracted by things like Facebook and Twitter. In fact truth is I spend too much time talking with friends and trying to be witty on those sites and it takes away from time here. I can’t blame it on my wife for calling me or my kids because while we do talk everyday they are respectful of my work and my time when I am away.

 

So is it discipline? Is it ADD? Willpower? I think not. I show incredible focus when I want to and discipline when I need to. Willpower is an illusion. You either are or you are not. Everything in between is what makes up a life. My problem is the same as everyone. Ego.

 

Everyone has a different spin on it. Worldliness, The Flesh, Materialism and so on. It’s all ego. That part of us that exists physically in this world. To be happy to feel good; to not be in pain. Sometimes we stuff our face or screw our brains out to get it. Other times we drug ourselves or buy crap. We keep the A/C at a palatable 72 degrees or sleep on a pillow-top. All this comes from our body’s need to not be in pain.

 

Now I’m no doctor and I am sure others will have their opinions but these desires are the animal part of us. I choose not to debate our physical origins but our consciousness however it came to be amplifies and overdrives these primal wants. So when I get on Facebook and play a game of questions with a friend and try to be witty and belong in that moment I am satisfying the self and ignoring the spirit. Does that mean I can’t every get on Facebook or connect with friends. NO!!! but there must be balance and I am not achieving that in a meaningful way. The fact that the 28 Day Meditation Challenge Started 8 days ago and I have done it for one day shows where I am really at. I am not making the spirit a priority in my life… but I am trying.

 

The journey is the reason for living so I choose today not to beat myself up but I am going to be honest. I feel good about the person I am today. I need to change where my priorities are at in my free time. I am loving the journey. I hope you are too.

 

Feel free to leave suggestions or comments about your struggles or successes with living out your spirituality. We are always stronger when we connect.

 

Suggestion Box

suggestion-boxAll joking aside I would love to hear from others as to where they have been able to find great resources for inspiration and guidance in seeking the Buddhist path. Feel free to comment with your suggestions and I will create a Post to put them all in. I will vet them all but as you all should know trust your own heart and reason. If it does not work for you feel free to let me know. That does not mean it is not valid.

Thank you

Admin.

The Buddha

To begin the journey you must first take a step.

It seems simple enough but what if you did not know what that step was? What if you did not even know what that step looked like? Worst, what if you simply had no understanding of what it meant to take a step at all? If you came by this page then you must have seen the quote that is attributed to The Buddha. I will spare you a repeat but if you have not read it it is very important. Our motivation for why we do things is important and we must trust ourselves to make the right choices. I have included two videos that speak of the Buddha’s life and teachings. All I ask is that you lay down your scrutiny long enough to understand the message.

I am a brat when it comes to customer service and getting what I paid for. I have slain many a low-income workers for their poor performance and inadequate service. It’s not my policy to get anything for free but I want the expectation was set.

I got an iPhone 4. I am not paying 300 for a phone so I let them go out of date a couple of months and the price drops in half usually. After about two weeks I noticed that in meetings I would get calls but I would not hear my phone ring. A few quick steps made me realize the vibration device in the phone was defective. “Dammit!! I just bought this thing. Why can’t anything be what it is supposed to be.” I was ready. I had my berating speech ready for the innocent clerk knowing I would get a new phone but totally frustrated that I had to deal with it.

Life got in the way.

Weeks went by and I kept the stew going but never made it to the store to empty my pot. I realized having my phone completely off gave me a chance to focus more on what was right in front of me. Now, that doesn’t mean I still don’t spend too much time with it planted in my face. I just did not divide so much of my time when others needed it more than my phone did. Wasn’t everything I thought it should be, but it was everything it needed to be.

The Buddha Part 1

The Buddha Part 2

Finding Zen in a House Full of Zoo

In a minute was sadly one of my daughter’s first phrases.

Before I go spouting off at the mouth about how hard it is to find time to meditate in a house with eight people in it let’s be clear. I have spent the better part of two days getting this blog and my social media sorted out so I could complain about how hard it is to find time to practice my faith. I know Albert had some wisdom on insanity but I think we could at the least add an addendum in light of my stupidity. None the less here I am with a real issue.

Time in a family this large is a constant battle. I am about to go off on the road and leave my wife to the real struggle here at the house every day. She will play the ref and chef in between cleaning and the endless flow of laundry. It’s a crappy job and I am very thankful she does it. For any house wife that doesn’t need some meds I personally would be a little scared of you. That job sucks.

At some point you have to come out of the problem and start living in the solution and that is where I am at for a lot of reasons I have not gotten into yet. Don’t worry; I’ll get all the dirt out. But tonight I am happy to report I have finished the design, learned some HTML coding, decided on the best platforms for executing the blog (iOS devices sucks btw) and linked all my social media so a bunch of people who barely care about my blathering can be spammed with it. Enjoy the clip.